Time Bandits (1981)

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Title: Time Bandits

Genre: Family, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure, Comedy

Cast: Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, Kenny Baker, Mike Edmonds, Malcolm Dixon, Tiny Ross, Jack Purvis, Ian Holm, John Cleese, Sean Connery, Michael Palin, Shelley Duvall, Peter Vaughan, Katherine Helmond, David Warner, Ralph Richardson, Tony Jay, David Daker, Sheila Fearn, Jim Broadbent, Peter Jonfield, Jerold Wells, Myrtle Devenish, Winston Dennis, Roger Frost, Andrew MacLachlan, Marcus Powell, Terence Bayler, Preston Lockwood, David Leland, Leon Lissek, John Young, Derrick O'Connor, Neil McCarthy, Declan Mulholland, Derek Deadman, Charles McKeown, Mark Holmes, Martin Carroll, Ian Muir

Release: 1981-07-13

Runtime: 116

Plot: Young history buff Kevin can scarcely believe it when six dwarfs emerge from his closet one night. Former employees of the Supreme Being, they've purloined a map charting all of the holes in the fabric of time and are using it to steal treasures from different historical eras. Taking Kevin with them, they variously drop in on Napoleon, Robin Hood and King Agamemnon before the Supreme Being catches up with them.

Where to watch

@Pete @Manny
I have not abandoned you guys. Boyfriend is coming tomorrow, he will be here for to weeks. He's from England. So I will be gone for a bit <3 BUT WILL BE BACK!
 
I was just watching this.
1758209507358.webp
She’s talking about all the problems with reboots, and this is why Time Bandits reboot flopped, too. That’s why I like to imagine that if my version were real, I’d try to stay true to the original spirit. Though a tad darker. As This is no longer child's story as Kevin is grown, with trauma. While still respecting Terry Gilliam's version.

Still joined with their orginal slip-stick, and even more darker gallows humor. If Game of Thrones also had dark comedy, I would have been in Dark Fantasy heaven. So I'm making that happen with my TB-Fan-Reboot idea XD.


Honestly, I’d love to see it done in the style of those U.S. anime-style projects Netflix has been making, like The Witcher or Castlevania. That way, they could actually animate the likenesses of the original iconic actors, than hire good sound-alikes. I would still want it to have that old 80's animation feel too. Like the Last unicorn, or Fire and Ice. Just think looking digitally restored '80s animation, seeing it would be made now.

I’d even add a fun 59-minute animated recap episode of the film, for people who don’t want to sit through the original. And in true Time Bandits fashion, the recap could be cheekily self-aware: “What’s the matter, lost already? Didn’t bother watching the movie, huh? That’s on you, not us."

@Pete @Manny
 
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I was never crazy about reboots or remakes except for a few films and one of those was King Kong with Jack Black.
 
I was never crazy about reboots or remakes except for a few films and one of those was King Kong with Jack Black.
Exactly.That's why i'm trying hard not to alienate people with my Part 2 fan plot, and the addition of amaranth.

Also! My computer died! I wanna do so much more with my story and stuff , but I can't... I'm still glad my brother's like the tech fairy. He'll figure out something for me soon
 
Exactly.That's why i'm trying hard not to alienate people with my Part 2 fan plot, and the addition of amaranth.

Also! My computer died! I wanna do so much more with my story and stuff , but I can't... I'm still glad my brother's like the tech fairy. He'll figure out something for me soon

Listen if you have a something that you think is a great story to continue Time Bandits or anything for that matter you should always pursue it.
 
I never watched or even heard of this movie. You all made me interested in this one. I didn't read through everything on here but I'll get to it.
 
Listen if you have a something that you think is a great story to continue Time Bandits or anything for that matter you should always pursue it.
You seem to be interested so i'm doing something right? 🥰
 
I never watched or even heard of this movie. You all made me interested in this one. I didn't read through everything on here but I'll get to it.
Yes! Watch it. It is an amazing 80's flim.
And as you can see , I'm totally obsessed...
Given all of my fan add on lore.
 
So with the lack of my computer , I've been sitting in bed , working on things for my fan continuation.. And I ended up writing this little thing...
-----
Since I add in the allegory that Evil and Amaranth are like the anti Adam/Eve.
( ... And upon writing this I just realized, they both have the same first initials too, huh! )

Evil = Both Adam and the serpent.
Ama = Eve
The Fortress Of Ultimate Darkness = The Tree of Knowledge
The Time Of Legends = The Garden Of Eden
Still on the fence if the Map would be their Apple? Or if I should just put in pomegranate for symbolism?
----
Then I worte this.

⸺ Classified Memorandum 731-B (Amended): “On the Reformation of Evil and His Unfortunate Project” ⸺
(Filed reluctantly by order of the Supreme Being; Heaven Central Bureaucracy, Anomalous Records Division)
1. Ahem. Let the record show that after I — in My infinite wisdom — oversaw the dismantling of that tiresome creature known as Evil, I fully expected him to stay scattered. Ashes should remain ashes. That was, after all, the point.

2. But no. Some beings are simply too stubborn to accept proper annihilation. Like a bad idea muttered by angels who should know better, the remnants of his wretched self slithered back together, whispering nonsense in the void, until—unfortunately—he remembered he existed.

3. And so Evil reformed himself. Uninvited. Unapproved. Certainly not according to any schedule I had authorized.

4. Upon surveying the ruins of his gloomy fortress, he apparently decided he needed a “contingency.” (As though I wouldn’t notice. As though he were capable of original strategy. Ridiculous.)

5. Rather than creating anything properly, as I did with Adam and Eve — through decent, regulated, bone-and-breath methods — Evil tore into his own miserable essence and sculpted from it a creature.

6. He called her Amaranth. I call her what she is: a walking error report.

7. She is not born of rib, but of rot; not gifted breath, but exhaled vanity. A mirror, nothing more, polished to reflect his every flaw back at him. And oh, how he admired her — unsurprising, since admiring himself is his one true talent.

8. She was meant to be his tool, his backup plan, his insurance policy against Me. (Charming, really. As if I haven’t seen a thousand schemes like this before lunch.)

9. But, of course, it didn’t end there. It never does with him. Instead of maintaining professional detachment, he began to… linger. Stare. Speak to her as if she were more than the sum of his own bile.

10. He grew fond of her — in that nauseating, paradoxical way only he could. He loved the reflection, not the person. How terribly on-brand.

11. And yet, I will begrudgingly note this: his fondness changed. What began as narcissistic fascination turned, by degrees, into something uncomfortably close to genuine attachment.

12. First he named her tool. Then 'daughter' Then — and this is the part no one believes until they read the reports — " My Precious Flower" Yes. Evil, the embodiment of ego and malice, fashioned himself a kind of heir.

13. He trained her, sheltered her from his lesser minions, taught her his secrets as though preparing a successor. And, astonishingly, she thrived. She ceased to be merely a mirror and became something other: sharp, willful, and unsettlingly beautiful in the way calamity can be.

14. And as his schemes deepened, so too did his view of her. Daughter became partner. Tool became Empress. He crowned her not with ceremony but with his gaze — as if the universe had quietly shifted while no one was watching.

15. And yes… I am aware he loves her. Not the way mortals understand love, of course. His is a twisted, possessive devotion, born from himself and reflected back through her. But it is love nonetheless, and — I detest admitting this — it makes him more dangerous than he was before.

16. And so these two set out into the Time of Legends, which, I should note, is not a garden — it’s a holding zone for discarded epochs. A dumping ground. Hardly paradise, though he strutted through it like some dark patriarch of a counterfeit Eden.

17. Looming over that wasteland is his dreary Fortress of Ultimate Darkness, which he seems to fancy as some kind of forbidden tree. There’s no fruit, just secrets he doesn’t understand and power he shouldn’t touch.

18. And now, because they simply must play at myth-making, they’re chasing after the Map as though it were some grand, forbidden apple that will overturn My design.

19. Let the record show: this is not your normal love story. It’s a delusion wrapped in vanity, heading for catastrophe. UNHOLY! And if they imagine I won’t be watching… well, they’re even more foolish than I suspected.

20.Filed (begrudgingly) by the Supreme Being, who really has better things to do.

@Pete @Manny
 
So with the lack of my computer , I've been sitting in bed , working on things for my fan continuation.. And I ended up writing this little thing...
-----
Since I add in the allegory that Evil and Amaranth are like the anti Adam/Eve.
( ... And upon writing this I just realized, they both have the same first initials too, huh! )

Evil = Both Adam and the serpent.
Ama = Eve
The Fortress Of Ultimate Darkness = The Tree of Knowledge
The Time Of Legends = The Garden Of Eden
Still on the fence if the Map would be their Apple? Or if I should just put in pomegranate for symbolism?
----
Then I worte this.

⸺ Classified Memorandum 731-B (Amended): “On the Reformation of Evil and His Unfortunate Project” ⸺
(Filed reluctantly by order of the Supreme Being; Heaven Central Bureaucracy, Anomalous Records Division)
1. Ahem. Let the record show that after I — in My infinite wisdom — oversaw the dismantling of that tiresome creature known as Evil, I fully expected him to stay scattered. Ashes should remain ashes. That was, after all, the point.

2. But no. Some beings are simply too stubborn to accept proper annihilation. Like a bad idea muttered by angels who should know better, the remnants of his wretched self slithered back together, whispering nonsense in the void, until—unfortunately—he remembered he existed.

3. And so Evil reformed himself. Uninvited. Unapproved. Certainly not according to any schedule I had authorized.

4. Upon surveying the ruins of his gloomy fortress, he apparently decided he needed a “contingency.” (As though I wouldn’t notice. As though he were capable of original strategy. Ridiculous.)

5. Rather than creating anything properly, as I did with Adam and Eve — through decent, regulated, bone-and-breath methods — Evil tore into his own miserable essence and sculpted from it a creature.

6. He called her Amaranth. I call her what she is: a walking error report.

7. She is not born of rib, but of rot; not gifted breath, but exhaled vanity. A mirror, nothing more, polished to reflect his every flaw back at him. And oh, how he admired her — unsurprising, since admiring himself is his one true talent.

8. She was meant to be his tool, his backup plan, his insurance policy against Me. (Charming, really. As if I haven’t seen a thousand schemes like this before lunch.)

9. But, of course, it didn’t end there. It never does with him. Instead of maintaining professional detachment, he began to… linger. Stare. Speak to her as if she were more than the sum of his own bile.

10. He grew fond of her — in that nauseating, paradoxical way only he could. He loved the reflection, not the person. How terribly on-brand.

11. And yet, I will begrudgingly note this: his fondness changed. What began as narcissistic fascination turned, by degrees, into something uncomfortably close to genuine attachment.

12. First he named her tool. Then 'daughter' Then — and this is the part no one believes until they read the reports — " My Precious Flower" Yes. Evil, the embodiment of ego and malice, fashioned himself a kind of heir.

13. He trained her, sheltered her from his lesser minions, taught her his secrets as though preparing a successor. And, astonishingly, she thrived. She ceased to be merely a mirror and became something other: sharp, willful, and unsettlingly beautiful in the way calamity can be.

14. And as his schemes deepened, so too did his view of her. Daughter became partner. Tool became Empress. He crowned her not with ceremony but with his gaze — as if the universe had quietly shifted while no one was watching.

15. And yes… I am aware he loves her. Not the way mortals understand love, of course. His is a twisted, possessive devotion, born from himself and reflected back through her. But it is love nonetheless, and — I detest admitting this — it makes him more dangerous than he was before.

16. And so these two set out into the Time of Legends, which, I should note, is not a garden — it’s a holding zone for discarded epochs. A dumping ground. Hardly paradise, though he strutted through it like some dark patriarch of a counterfeit Eden.

17. Looming over that wasteland is his dreary Fortress of Ultimate Darkness, which he seems to fancy as some kind of forbidden tree. There’s no fruit, just secrets he doesn’t understand and power he shouldn’t touch.

18. And now, because they simply must play at myth-making, they’re chasing after the Map as though it were some grand, forbidden apple that will overturn My design.

19. Let the record show: this is not your normal love story. It’s a delusion wrapped in vanity, heading for catastrophe. UNHOLY! And if they imagine I won’t be watching… well, they’re even more foolish than I suspected.

20.Filed (begrudgingly) by the Supreme Being, who really has better things to do.

@Pete @Manny

So far what I read I like. I’ll read the rest of it later when I get home.
 
So far what I read I like. I’ll read the rest of it later when I get home.
THANKS!!! I'm glad I have a real computer back to work on my babies AGAIN!!!!

JUMPS EVIL
EVIL: WOMAN YOUR SMOTHERING ME!!!! (Evil needing jaws of life to get out of my grip)
AMA GLARES AT ME.
ME: I AM YOU! your just myself insert! into this IP...It's not really cheating....
AMA IS ABOUT BLOW ME UP, SHADES OF DADDY DEAREST
ME: FINE!!! OKAY!!! (LETS HIM GO....AS I "CASUALLY " RUN AWAY)
 
PRETTY ME PEEPS! MORE LORE!!!

Before the neat, bureaucratic universe we live in today, the Supreme Being experimented. He drafted “divinity” the way an inventor tests gadgets....
...... Sketching out archetypes like Zeus, Isis, Quetzalcoatl, Odin, Shiva. Then setting them loose to see what would happen.
Each prototype received a sliver of creation’s power. Not enough to rewrite reality, but enough to bend it, shaping landscapes, guiding peoples, building cults. They were told: oversee, nurture, create something worthwhile.Naturally, they went rogue. They basked in worship, demanded temples, and treated their regions as private kingdoms.
The Supreme Being sighed, scribbled failed drafts in the margins, and moved on with His official design. But the prototypes never vanished.
Take Olympus: it’s just a mountain. Any mortal could hike up, if not for the priests, fear, and superstition that kept them away. The gods’ “realms” were never separate heavens, just pockets of warped reality, little squatters’ kingdoms stitched into Earth. They’ve since cloaked themselves, walking hidden among mortals. Occasionally they still surface in backwater towns that behave like it’s still the first century.
All those myths of lightning bolts, floods, and underworlds? Just party tricks. Leftover scraps of their borrowed power. Humans misread spectacle as divinity, and the prototypes never corrected them. Why would they? Flattery was their fuel.
The Supreme Being dismisses them with dry contempt:“Oh, them. Prototypes. Easier to leave them on their hills and rivers than to bother tidying up. Harmless enough, once you stop believing in them.”---Their still immortal? Or can live longer, then morals? Then mere mortals? Still unsure.
Though, by the very nature of it all, clearly the Bandits know they are around, as they were there, when God first created them all.
Same for Evil and Amaranth, there aware of these lot. Like they give care either. No! Their to busy being happy evil couple, ruling over the time of legends, and plotting to get that MAP! (though I do hint Evil has met them all, at one time, or another. Some he may call " friend" though he uses the term loosely. Useful, is more like it. Their on the back burner if he ever needs to call in a favor... in exchange for a suit of power in his new world order.)
It will be Kevin who is hit with that bombshell, they are real too. Just struggling to exist now.
 
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